Interview With A Barebacker

Mr X has been HIV positive for many years…’more years than he can remember’. Below is his interview:

WHY DO YOU BAREBACK?

Because I am HIV positive, I like raw sex and it’s natural.

AREN’T YOU WORRIED ABOUT CROSS INFECTION & RESISTANCE?

I am not 100% convinced that all that info is true. I think some of it is stressed to enforce a safe sex message for all. This may be ignorance on my part, but I have never been ‘cross infected’ as far as I know. In any case the medication keeps the viral load low and the t-cells high making cross infection, resistance let alone passing on HIV a lower chance..sure not as secure as safer sex…but still…In any case, I prefer cum ON  me than IN me…some people think barebacking is all about the cum, for me it’s about doing what is natural.

AREN’T YOU CONCERNED ABOUT PASSING HIV ONTO OTHERS?

Surely only HIV+ people bareback…why would you bareback if you were HIV -….you either are stupid, don’t care, just waiting to get HIV or are lying about your status (I borrowed that from the last post on SeenQueen)….and there are plenty of liars, believe me! So if anyone wants to bareback I immediately assume they are HIV +….what idiot would be doing if they weren’t ?  So, no I am not worried about passing it on…but if I were HIV- I would be concerned about getting it, and the best way to avoid that is…SAFER SEX! Simple solution to a complicated problem!

SO IF YOUR WERE HIV – YOU WOULDN’T BAREBACK?

Absolutely NOT! Why would I risk my life for someone else? Like I said, we all know the consequences….

WHAT IF YOUR WERE DRUNK OR OUT OF IT?

Look, I am responsible for my own health. If I was HIV negative, and being drunk or out of it made me compromise my behaviour in regards to safer sex I would not get drunk or out of it. THAT is so simple. People who do that repeatedly are stupid and don’t care about themselves, otherwise why would they do it?

DO YOU ALWAYS NEGOTIATE SEX?

Sometimes. People i meet on a bareback site, I know what I am going to get. On the other sites, there are a lot of people who lie out of fear of being known to be HIV+. Fair enough I guess, if people weren’t so judgemental there would be more upfront and honesty. I don’t always bareback. If it is safer sex, then that is what I do. If in doubt, I will always confirm with them the type of sex they want. A HIV positive person should assume everyone they sleep with is HIV negative and a HIV neg person should assume everyone they sleep with is HIV +….that way you will always being have the right type of sex that is best for you, especially in the latter case…..

HAS ANYONE EVER REJECTED YOU BECUASE OF YOU BIENG HIV +?

Yes they have.  They might be hot, but if they are fearful and do not trust me to behave with respect and integrity…then I do not want to have sex with them either. Why would I want sex with someone who doesn’t trust me? Always be careful of the guys that say ‘disease free and you be too’…they are the worst of them all and usually want to bareback anyway, they just have hang ups about being found out…you know the saying, ‘they protest too much’.

SO YOU DO HAVE SAFER SEX?

Of course.  If we negotiate safer sex then that is exactly what we will have…

DO PEOPLE ASK YOU ABOUT YOUR STATUS?

Not always.  If we are barebacking it may come up, but like I said…only HIV+ bareback…so nothing really needs to be said. Saying that, if we are having Safer Sex, they might ask and I usually say…why do you want to know, we are having safer sex, it’s irrelevant. If they persist, it is usually because they want to bareback…and they want to know if I am negative so we can do it…but that makes me think they are lying about their status, because if they want to bareback with me who else have they done it with… so either way it is irrelevant. If they persist I know it’s not going to work out because they could be expressing some kind of paranoia, fear or lack of trust…and what kind of sex do you think that will lead to.

YOU MAKE IT SOUND SO BLACK AND WHITE.

It is…people only enter the gray when they are in denial or lying to themselves

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN HIV +?

A long time…probably before the whole Safer Sex message took root…otherwise I would still be HIV- I don’t understand guys who sero-convert now…they have all the info. Sure a condom may break…but that is just pure shit luck…and they probably didn’t follow the instructions correctly using inferior lube and so on, or just spit Anyone who bareback now and is HIV negative will deserve what they get.

THAT SOUNDS COLD, THEY DESERVE WHAT THEY GET…

Why? You drink excessively, you get liver damage…you eat too much crap food you get fat….these are consequences of our actions…why should sex be any different. WE ALL KNOW what happens if you have unprotected SEX…you are just asking for it…what did they think was going to happen?

People need to me responsible for themselves, if the other person isn’t willing to respect your choice…then walk. Cock just isn’t worth the hassle and drama. Sex is meant to be fun and exciting not a day out at the therapists.

YOU MAKE IT SOUND SO EASY.

Look, if you like your life, and love yourself you will do what you can to protect it. If you don’t you won’t. Action will follow how you feel about yourself. People smoke, but they know they can get cancer. People excessively drink and they know what that does to their bodies…and people take too much G ending up in Hospital or dying. What makes life so valuable is the threat of death…you can exist or you can live. We all need to make choices that are in our own best interest…that way you protect yourself and others.

INTERESTING. THERE IS PLENTY I AGREE WITH, OTHER STUFF I NEED TO THINK ABOUT. THANK YOU SO MUCH. HOPEFULLY PEOPLE WILL GET SOME VALUE OUT OF WHAT YOU SAID.

So many people are in the ‘blame game’. The only person to ‘blame’ is yourself. Take Control…another good slogan from your website. Simple and effective…

I AGREE. THANK YOU.

Mr Z has been HIV for only a few months after recently sero converting after an unsafe sex episode while on holidays….

WHY DO YOU BAREBACK?

I don’t really bareback, sometimes I might stick it in some my cock into them without a condom or they into me, but only for a minute or so….we don’t actually fuck.

HOW DID YOU CATCH HIV THEN?

I was in Barcelona when I had sex with this guy I stuck my cock into without a condom.  He did to me too…but we didn’t fuck and cum. A couple of weeks later i felt really ill like the worst flu i have ever had and went to the doctor…he did a blood test and there it was.

YOU DID KNOW THAT UNSAFE SEX CAN LEAD TO THIS?

YES, but i always assumed that you had to cum up someone. In the doctors office there was a poster that said HIV can be absorbed  through the head of your cock…I didn’t know that.

DO YOU THINK SAFER SEX EDUCATION IS POOR?

Well, I guess. I didn’t know about the head of the cock thing…

SO WHY WOULD A HIV NEGATIVE GUY HAVE UNSAFE SEX?

I have done it heaps before and it has always been alright. I assumed maybe I was one of those guys that had resistance since I never had a problem…well, until now.

DON’T YOU ASSUME THAT ANYONE WHO WANTS TO BAREBACK WOULD BE HIV POSITIVE, OTHERWISE WHY ARE THEY DOING IT?

No not really. I mean, I was doing it, unless they thought I was HIV positive by me doing it. That would make sense I guess…I never thought of it that way…

SO YOU DIDN’T TALK ABOUT IT WITH THE OTHER GUYS BEFORE HAND?

No. We just did it.

WHY?

Don’t know. Sometimes I was high, or there weren’t any condoms for whatever reason.

WOULDN’T A PERSON NOT HAVING CONDOMS RING AN ALERT IN YOUR MIND?

Not really, not if I was in a sauna.

YOU WOULD STILL GET HIGH EVEN IF IT AFFECTED YOUR SAFE SEX DECISIONS?

You don’t think that while you’re high.

WHAT ABOUT BEFORE YOU GET HIGH?

Not really….anyway, like I said, I have done it before and nothing ever happened.

WHAT ABOUT OUR SAFE SEX CAMPAIGN…THREE TYPES OF BAREBACKERS…WOULD THAT HAVE INFLUENCED YOU?

I never thought of it that way. If that was a campaign, and it was in my head like it is now, then I probably wouldn’t have done. What is it….three guys who bareback are HIV positive, HIV negative but won’t be or a lying?  Yes, that would have been something that would make me think twice….

ARE YOU GOING TO CONTINUE TO HAVE UNSAFE SEX?

Catching HIV has awakened me to life. It has refocused me.  Sex is not the first thing on my mind.  At first I just need to deal with the current situation….they are starting me on meds as that is the new policy to start early. I have a good friend who knows a lot because he has been HIV for a while and I have been doing a lot of research on the meds. It would suffice to say this is life changing…but you are right…I know the consequences of unsafe sex, and here it is. A message to everyone out there…assume everyone you sleep with is HIV positive…that way you can never make the wrong choice!

WE AGREE. I THINK THAT WOULD MAKE A GREAT SLOGAN. THANK YOU.

SAFER SEX / UNSAFE SEX POLL

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